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My abusive ex is advocating for abuse awareness on campus and I don't know how to feel (tw: rape, abuse, suicide also warning this turned out much longer than expected)

A little background (Edit: this turned out to be a lot of background) regarding our past relationship - just over a year ago, I was a few months on hormones and still in the closet about being a trans woman while also struggling with my sexual identity. I had earlier saw on Facebook that there was a clothing-optional party in the student center. At this point, I had never been to a queer or trans event or really engage in the community on campus. Still, I wasn't sure about attending since I wasn't really comfortable with my own body to myself and especially not to a crowd of a hundred others. However, I was feeling lonely after a get together of my friends was cancelled and I was feeling lonely and confused at the time so I tried to find somewhere to not be alone on campus. I ended up forcing myself to go with the compromise to myself that I'd keep my clothes on while there.
Once at the party, I ended up being too shy to even take off my kinda thick winter jacket, but I found someone there who I'm like kind of friends with so I at least felt comfortable enough to stay at the party as long as I was near him. There were handing out little flags to wave around, so after a while of going back and forth to the table with them I grabbed a trans flag and held on to it. While shyly dancing, I saw this girl who seemed confident in themselves and proudly had a trans flag themselves but I felt like if I talked to them they'd just think I was some random dude. Eventually, I lost track of my friend and sat off to the side considering whether I should leave and just go to sleep for the night. At this point, a drag show started and while watching, that girl from earlier started looking at me and decided to sit next to me after a while. We hit it off and started dancing together and talking. At first, they thought I was a trans dude but I decided to confide in them about my identity as a trans woman and they helped me take my layers off so that I wasn't wearing three layers of clothing while everyone around us was primarily in their underwear at most.
The night ended and they asked if I wanted to go to their room with them which, me being awkward and clueless, didn't realize what that meant until we were on our way there. I don't know if I wanted to lose my virginity in this situation but I was lonely, closeted, and confused so just went along with whatever happened. In the morning, they asked me if I wanted to date them and, wanting my first time with someone to not be with a stranger, decided to go along with it.
After a few weeks of dating which ended up primarily just being sex, they confided in me that they are and were suicidal and that the only two people keeping them alive were their mother as they'd feel guilty about causing them trouble and myself. I felt trapped. I didn't know how to respond so I just did what I always did growing up and let my emotions dry into solid concrete. I was considering breaking up with them prior to this, however, now I felt like I had to support them in any way I could. Due to this, I stayed with them and they pushed sexual boundaries further and further well past my comfort point yet I didn't want to refuse anything as I was scared pushing them away would lead to them endangering themselves. They started to try and draw me away from my friends as they would only want to spend time together and that to I didn't protest due to my fear of being responsible for their well-being. At this time, I was becoming more comfortable in thinking I identify as a lesbian, however, they pushed against this. They would often ask me if I was attracted to guys or where I felt I was on a spectrum of being attracted to men or women. She would often say how she was feeling more attracted to guys at the time and seemed disappointed or saddened if I said I was entirely attracted to women. I started to lie and say that I felt some attraction to men which seemed to improve her mood. This wasn't limited to just sexuality but also monogamy vs polyamory and gender identity. She was starting to identify more closely with genderfluid at the time and started to push me to also consider identifying not as a trans woman but more on the non-binary spectrum. Also, she was starting to identify more as polyamorous which she always had mentioned while I 100% identify as monogamous. This will be more relevant later on.
After a little over a month together, I was starting to consider coming out to my close friends back home and some close friends on campus. She pushed me to do so which I don't regret. After this though, she pushed my boundaries much further and heavily encouraged me to the point where when I said no, she would push further to come out to my mother. I ended up doing it. She didn't stop there - she wanted me to rip the band-aid off and come out on Facebook to everyone. I cried profusely and refused, but she kept on insisting. My roommate was gone, I was crying on the floor underneath my bed frame while she helped draft a message to post on Facebook. Done, I was out to the world. I wasn't ready for this, this wasn't what I wanted - I didn't know what I wanted. We walked along Central Park to distract me from what had happened. I was scared to open my phone up and see the aftermath. I lost connection to parts of my family that night that I still haven't regained contact with. I know that if I came out of my own volition later on that I may not have those family still, but at least I could choose to come out to them if I wanted to then. I was an out woman then yet I was still early in my transition and nowhere near ready to present full-time, but there I was. Over time, things calmed down and I started to adjust to my out life.
After almost two months, I was invited to a get-together in my friend's room and invited her to come along so that maybe she could meet more of my friends and maybe find that they aren't so bad. I drank too much and she started to make comments about my friends. One of which about one of my best friends was about how he was her type. She wanted to know if I found him attractive and if he'd be interested in a threesome. I am not attracted to men. I am not attracted to my best friend. I don't want to ruin my friendships over her whims. I am profusely monogamous. I didn't answer. She continued to ask in the future and I continued to not answer. Apparently I consented to whatever while drunk. We walked back to my room - my roommate was back home, we had sex. I passed out in the middle of sex and had a nightmare where I was absolutely terrified and felt pain throughout my body and was loosely awake at one point and felt pain in my lower body and thought something was moving. I was raped. We woke up and she tells me that she gave me anal while I was passed out and asked if I enjoyed it. I disassociated and I think I said it was fine. I was not fine but I wouldn't accept this for a while longer.
The rest of the relationship until winter break, I disassociated from and don't remember what happened. The end of November up until the end of December is almost entirely missing from my memory. For winter break, I left to go on Birthright to Israel with students from my school through the campus Hillel. I was thousands of miles away and I suddenly felt alive again. I began to talk to her less and less due to the lack of data connection. I was in the Negev Desert, laying down in the sand staring at the stars. I realized that I don't need to believe myself responsible for the well-being of her. My identity is my own journey. I don't have to allow this person to try and shape my identity. I can be me.
I stopped communicating with her outside of basic messages and a call or two. I felt liberated. Once the Spring semester began, I was back on campus with her. It was my birthday and she came to give me a present and a card. The card contained a long message where she stated that she doesn't truly love me and her love isn't real towards me. Paragraphs filled the card front to back. I didn't know how to feel - even though I no longer cared for her I still felt tings of pain. She told me she wanted the power in breaking up with me and that she noticed I became detached from her emotionally. I couldn't argue. She started crying and I comforted her while feeling a strange feeling of relief. She left and my friends came by and surprised me with gifts and cookies. I tried weed for the first time that night and told my roommate about us breaking up - we were both ecstatic.
Things were too good to be true. The next night, she messaged me saying to come to her room to talk. She wanted to get closure. She wanted to have breakup sex. She wanted to get back together. I disassociated and became mute for the night. I cried and she wiped away my tears for hours while I played music describing how I feel. She attempted to make out with me while I laid there. She kept on asking about sex. I stared upwards not saying a word. She interpreted the meaning of the music I played as meaning I wanted to try again. I attempted to shake my head no but my head was too heavy. I don't remember what happened after - I may have passed out or just laid there. I don't know. I left in the morning and never spoke to her again. She blocked me online yet attempted to Venmo request me money for some chokers she gave me. I ignored her.
This semester, I began to open up to my friends about all of this. I found out from one of my best friends that she is on a board on campus where they tried to advocate for abuse awareness among queer and trans people. I felt confused. I felt disappointed. I felt nervous. I felt scared. I felt like I couldn't attend queer and trans events on campus as they would be there. I attended a couple queer and trans-related events recently and saw them there and won't continue to engage with the campus LGBTQ+ community due to that outside of my friends and queer spaces at the campus Hillel as I know those spaces she won't be in.
Just this week, another friend of mine told me that my ex is in their club and they were wanting to organize a workshop involving consent in the queer and trans community. The emotions I've been feeling the past few months increased in intensity. I finally spoke to the campus mental health initiative about what had happened and am beginning to talk to them more. I don't know how to feel about what's happening but I'm glad that my friends are supportive and the mental health experts on campus are too.
I don't know how to feel or what to do in the future about this on campus or in general. I'm glad that I have a supportive girlfriend right now who accepts me for my identity and loves me for who I am. I'm glad I have a supportive group of friends who will listen to my concerns and help me when I feel down. I may not have a supportive family, but I have these people who I deeply care about.
submitted by tsemisht to TwoXChromosomes [link] [comments]

Anti-Abortion Laws Megathread

Dear all,
Over the last few weeks we have seen an overwhelming number of new posts and comments around the recently passed anti-abortion laws in Alabama et al., and the growing concern of many that other conservative states in the US might follow that example.
We as moderator team want to support you in whichever way we can; and have therefore collected an overview of current options.
As a general remark, please note that none of us is omniscient, and neither are we legal experts. So please take all suggestions, advice and recommendations as a collected efforts of involved individuals.
If you find yourself pregnant and looking for advice on how to deal with it before getting an abortion, please refer to our wiki on how to deal with disclosing the fact. (Shoutout to sethra007 for the contribution on compiling the information therein).
Should you find yourself in a state where abortion has been made illegal, and you are looking to get an out-of-state abortion, it is of crucial importance not to disclose the pregnancy to anyone (let alone the father, if you are 110% sure you are on the same side - but even that is debatable). You don't want to find yourself on the receiving end of an infanticide lawsuit.
You can reach out to the Auntie Network (/auntienetwork), a group of helpers taking you to and from abortion clinics while making sure you have a 'good time' and plenty of pictures to show for on instagram with your distant aunt that you've been visiting (hence the name).
When interacting with the network, either on reddit or via facebook, please be careful and don't disclose more information than needed. Use a throwaway account, burner phones etc. - You never know to what length anti-abortionists might go to infiltrate them and cause harm to you. Stay safe out there.
Please note that we as /childfree are not directly affiliated with the sub, but strongly support their mission and have as such made the decision to ignore our own rule of not endorsing other subs. They deserve all the support they can get, and then some! The sidebar on /auntienetwork also has a great many resources on how to obtain abortion inducing pills and related items, so I won't list them out here again.
If you want to support the good fight, Imchildfree has compiled a great list of methods you can do to help in this post here that I will just copy below to have one full and conclusive resource; but please also check out the comments for some related discussions.
1.) Contact your nearest abortion clinic and volunteer to be a patient escort.
2.) Volunteer with organizations on the ground, such as Planned Parenthood and NARAL.
3.) Donate to the National Network of Abortion funds. And locate the funds that are in the states being targeted.
4.) Protest! You want to protest? There are a shit ton of legislators out there who voted for this bullshit. They own businesses, they have offices. Take a couple friends and set up a meeting. Protest the churches the plant protesters on abortion clinic sidewalks. Protest the clinics that lie to patients to talk them out of abortions.
5.) Write in Letters to the Editor! I’ve seen so many garbage anti-choice LTE’s, it’s time we turned the tide. Write in to big newspapers, small newspapers, online publications- whatever there is. Get your message out.
6.) Speak about it! We have to get rid of abortion stigma and shame. When we are willing to be vocal and stand up for reproductive autonomy, we give others the courage to do so as well. Abortion is normal. Abortion is moral. Get rid of stigmatized language.
7.) Be inclusive; it is not just women who seek out abortions. Trans men, non-binary folks, gender fluid- there are a plethora of people out there who don’t identify as women that are just as impacted by this legislation. We are all in this fight together, and we can’t leave anyone behind.
8.) Talk to your legislators, as local as they get, and make sure they are pro-choice. Every office and every candidate matters, and if they are going to shy away from abortion when they’re little, they sure as shit won’t be on your side when they move on up.
9.) Run for office. Volunteer for publicly pro-choice candidates.
10.) Volunteer to sign up people to vote.
11.) Support the people on the ground already doing the work. There are so many folks out there that have been tirelessly doing this work and their knowledge and experience is invaluable.
12.) Be patient with the frustrations of those who have been in the movement for a long time. Many of them, for years, have been screaming that this was going to happen and they needed y’all to help. Now it’s happened and it can be very frustrating to see so many folks acting surprised and NOW wanting to get involved. Give some grace.
13.) Tell your own abortion story at The 1 in 3 campaign.
14.) Research and sign online petitions to stop these bans.
15.) Check out the clinic support network.
16.) Research which politicians are passing these laws and call them out.
17.) Stock up on emergency contraception. You can get it for 11 dollars on Amazon.
18.) Thank the production companies that have boycotted Georgia. And find out what ones haven't and tell them to.
19.) If you can, have a polite dialogue with your anti choice acquaintances about how these laws are going to destroy people's lives. If you need convincing arguments for the prochoice side, here are a few: ARCC-CDAC, NBC News, The Atlantic, Project Syndicate
20.) Quit treating abortion as a tragic event. It is a common, necessary medical procedure that women need. Not everyone is traumatized by it.
21.) Keep organizations like Aid Access, that ship abortion pills to women in America, in your mind.
22.) Buy this book.
23.) Register to vote.
24.) Donate to the organization carafem that is working to build other clinics in other states across the country.
25.) Tell the people in your life to get involved.
26.) GET STERILIZED! Search the information on this site about doctors. I don't care if you are gay. I don't care if you are a man. I don't care if you are celibate. Rape happens. Women trick men into thinking they are on birth control. Accidents happen. GET STERILIZED!
27.) Tell those in your life that want to have kids to get on a form of birth control like an IUD or arm implant. These last a long time, are very effective, cannot be forgotten like the pill, and can always be taken out. And tell them to double up on birth control. Use barrier methods of birth control like condoms and diaphragms along with hormonal.
28.) Fight gerrymandering. Many of these officials are being elected this way.
29.) If you have a blog or youtube channel, make blogposts and videos about these attacks to alert people.
30.) Print and save this guide for using abortion pills. And make copies and share them.
31.) Practice self-care to avoid burnout.
32.) Realize that this fight is long term. We are not going to turn this around overnight. Start thinking of this as a years long battle.
33.) And last but not least, DON'T GIVE UP HOPE!
And as a final note:
We didn't start this thread to silence you, only to consolidate. If you still want to start your own post on a related matter, please do! /childfree is your place to rant, vent, discuss and seek for advice.
Any and all constructive posts are and will always be welcome.
Your moderator team
Edit: Cleaned up the links to increase readability.
submitted by godless-life to childfree [link] [comments]

Joe Walsh Will Not Save Us (G-File)

Dear Reader (including the poor Biden staffers who have to white-knuckle their armrests when not sucking down unfiltered Marlboros every time Joe Biden gives an interview),
If you’ve never heard the Milton Friedman shovels and spoons story, you will (and I don’t just mean here). Because everyone on the right tells some version of it at some point. The other Uncle Miltie (i.e., not the epically endowed comedic genius) goes to Asia or Africa or South America and is taken on a tour of some public works project in a developing country. Hundreds of laborers are digging with shovels. Milton asks the official in charge something like, “Why use shovels when earth moving equipment would be so much more efficient?”
The official replies that this is a jobs program and using shovels creates more jobs.
Friedman guffaws and asks, “In that case: Why not use spoons?”
The story might not be true, but the insight is timeless.
Here’s another story: When I was in college, we were debating in intro to philosophy the differences between treating men and women “equally” versus treating them the “same.” At first blush, the two things sound synonymous, but they’re not (indeed the difference illuminates the chasm of difference between classical liberalism and socialism, but that’s a topic for another day). I pointed out that there were some firefighter programs that had different physical requirements for male applicants and female ones (this was before it was particularly controversial—outside discussions of Foucault—to assume there were clear differences between sexes). Female applicants had to complete an obstacle course carrying a 100-pound dummy, but men had to carry a 200-pound dummy, or something like that. A puckish freshperson named Jonah Goldberg said: “I don’t really care if a firefighter is a man, a woman, or a gorilla, I’d just like them to be able to rescue me from a fire.”
A woman sitting in front of me wheeled around and womansplained to me that “you can always just hire two women.”
I shot back something like, “You could also hire 17 midgets, that’s not the point.”
(I apologize for using the word midget, which wasn’t on the proscribed terms list at the time.)
But here’s the thing: Sometimes it is the point. Whether you’re talking about spoons or little people, the case for efficiency is just one case among many. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s an important one, but it’s not the only one. Sometimes older children are told to bring their little brothers or sisters along on some trip. They’ll complain, “But they’ll just slow us down!” or, “But they aren’t allowed on the big kid rides.” Parents understand the point, but they are not prioritizing efficiency over love. Or, they’re prioritizing a different efficiency: Not being stuck with a little kid who’s crying all day because he or she was left behind.
One of my favorite scenes in the movie Searching for Bobby Fischer is when the chess tutor Bruce Pandolfini, played by Ben Kingsley, tells the chess prodigy’s parents that they have to forbid their son from playing pickup chess in the park because he learns bad chess habits there. The mom says “Not playing in the park would kill him. He loves it.”
Kingsley replies, accurately, that it “just makes my job harder.”
And the mom says, “Then your job is harder.”
I love that. I love it precisely because it recognizes that good parents recognize that there are trade-offs in life and that the best option isn’t always the most efficient one.
This is one of those places where you can see how wisdom and expertise can diverge from one another.
The Unity of Goodness
Efficiency can mean different things in different contexts. In business, it means profit maximization (or cost reduction, which is often the same thing). In sports, it means winning. Always giving the ball to the best player annoys the other players who want their own shot at glory, but so long as he can be counted on to score, most coaches will err on the side of winning. Starting one-legged players will wildly improve a basketball team’s diversity score, but it’s unlikely to improve the score that matters to coaches—or fans.
I’ve long argued that there’s something in the progressive mind that dislikes this whole line of thinking. They often tend to find the idea of trade-offs to be immoral or offensive. I call it the “unity of goodness” worldview. Once you develop an ear for it, you can hear it everywhere. “I refuse to believe that economic growth has to come at the expense of the environment.” “There’s no downside to putting women in combat.” “I don’t want to live in a society where families have to choose between X and Y,” or “I for one reject the idea that we have to sacrifice security for freedom—or freedom for security.” Both Bill Clinton and Barack Obama were masters at declaring that all hard choices were “false choices”—as if only mean-spirited people would say you can’t have your cake and eat it too.
Saint Greta
Nowhere is this mindset more on display in environmentalism. Everyone hawking the Green New Deal insists that it’s win-win all the way down. It’s Bastiat’s broken window parable on an industrialized scale. Spending trillions to switch to less efficient forms of energy will boost economic growth and create jobs, they insist. I’d have much more respect for these arguments if they simply acknowledged that doing a fraction of what they want will come at considerable cost.
Consider Greta Thunberg, the latest child redeemer of the climate change movement. She hates planes because they spew CO2. That’s why she sailed from Sweden to a conference in New York. As symbolism, it worked, at least for the people who already agree with her. But in economic terms, she might as well have raised the Spoon Banner off the main mast of her multi-million-dollar craft (that may have a minimal carbon footprint now, but required an enormous carbon down-payment to create). The organizers of this stunt had to fly two people to New York to bring the ship back across the Atlantic. And scores of reporters flew across the Atlantic to cover her heroic act of self-denial. Her nautical virtue signaling came at a price.
The organizers insist that they will buy carbon offsets to compensate for the damage done. But that’s just clever accounting. The cost is still real. And that’s not the only cost. It took her fifteen days to get to America. In other words, she actually proved the point of many of her critics. Fossil fuels come with costs all their own—geopolitical, environmental, etc.—but the upside of those downsides is far greater efficiency. If you want to get across the Atlantic in seven hours instead of two weeks, you need fossil fuels. The efficiency of modern technology reduces costs by giving human beings more time to do other stuff.
The Conservative Planners
The unity of goodness mindset has been spreading to the right these days as well. The new conservative critics of the free market see the efficiency of the market as a threat to other good things. And they’re right, as Joseph Schumpeter explained decades ago. For instance, just as earth-moving equipment replaces ditch-diggers in the name of efficiency, robots replace crane operators, and the communities that depended on those jobs often suffer as a result.
I have no quarrel with this observation. My problem is with the way they either sell their program as cost-free, or pretend that the right experts can run things better from Washington. They know which jobs or industries need the state to protect them from the market. They know how to run Facebook or Google to improve the Gross National Virtue Index. Many of the same people who once chuckled at the Spoons story now nod sagely. I don’t mean to say that there’s no room for government to regulate economic affairs. But I am at a loss as to why I should suspend my skepticism for right-wingers when they work from the same assumptions of the left-wingers I’ve been arguing with for decades.
Embracing Trumpism to Own Trump
Instead I want—or I guess need—to talk about another trade-off. I’ve been very reluctant to weigh in on the Joe Walsh project for a bunch of reasons. The biggest is that I am friends with some of the people cheering it on. But I think I have to offer my take.
I don’t get it.
Oh, I certainly understand the desire to see a primary challenger to Trump. I share that desire. And I understand the political calculation behind the effort. It’s like when one little league team brings in some dismayingly brawny and hirsute player from Costa Rica as a ringer. The other teams feel like they have to get their own 22-year-olds with photoshopped birth certificates in order to compete. My friend Bill Kristol is convinced that Trump must be defeated and that Walsh is just the mongoose to take on the Cobra-in-Chief.
I try not to recycle metaphors or analogies too much, but this seems like another example of a Col. Nicholson move. As I’ve written before, Col. Nicholson was the Alec Guinness character in The Bridge Over the River Kwai. The commanding officer of a contingent of mostly British POWs being held by the Japanese, Nicholson at first follows the rules and refuses to cooperate with his captors in their effort to use British captives as slave labor for a bridge project. But then his pride kicks in and he decides he will show the Japanese what real soldiering is like, agreeing to build the bridge as a demonstration of British superiority in civil engineering. [Spoiler alert] It’s only at the end of the film that he realizes that building the bridge may have been a kind of short-sighted moral victory, but in reality he was helping the Japanese kill allied troops because the bridge was going to be used for shipping Japanese troops and ammunition. When this realization finally arrives, he exclaims, “My God, what have I done?”
Walsh’s primary brief against Trump is that Trump is temperamentally unfit for office and a con man. Fair enough. But he has to focus his indictment on Trump’s erratic behavior. Why? Because he’s a terrible spokesman for much of the rest of the case against Trump. I may not call myself “Never Trump” any more, but I was in 2016. And back then, the argument against Trump wasn’t simply that he was erratic. It was also that he wasn’t a conservative, that he happily dabbled in racism and bigotry, and that he was crude, ill-informed, and narcissistically incapable of putting his personal interests and ego aside for the good of the country. I’m sure I’m leaving a few other things out. But you get the point.
Walsh may be sincere in his remorse over all the racist and incendiary things he said in the very recent past. He may regret supporting his anti-Semitic friend Paul Nehlen, though I haven’t found evidence of that. But none of that history should be seen as qualifications for the presidency, the Republican nomination, or support from conservatives.
And yet, it is precisely these things that make him attractive to his conservative supporters. Trump is an entertainer who trolls his enemies with offensive statements for attention, so let’s find someone who does the exact same thing!
Walsh may have been a one-term congressman, but his true vocation was as a shock-jock trolling provocateur. It’s ironic. As I’ve argued countless times, much of Trump’s bigotry in 2016 stemmed less from any core convictions than from a deep belief that the GOP’s base voters were bigoted and he needed to feed them red meat. Trump's reluctance to repudiate David Duke derived primarily from his ridiculous assumption that Duke had a large constituency he didn’t want to offend. He may have believed the Birther stuff, but he peddled it because that’s what his fans wanted. And Joe Walsh was one of those fans.
It may also be true that Walsh never really believed most of the bilge he was peddling and that he was doing the same thing Trump did—feeding the trolls—on a smaller scale. But if that’s the case, then he’s a con man, too.
I don’t want to beat up on Walsh too much because, again, his epiphany may be sincere. There are lots of people who pushed certain arguments too far only to recognize that the payoff was Trump and the transformation of conservatism into a form of right-wing identity politics. There are a lot of Col. Nicholsons out there. And I have too much respect for Bill Kristol to believe that he would lend his support to someone he believed to be as bigoted as the man Walsh seemed to be a few years ago.
But from where I sit, the prize we should keep our eyes on isn’t defeating Trump; it’s keeping conservatism from succumbing to Trumpism after he’s gone. This isn’t easy, and no tactic is guaranteed to be successful. We’ve never been here before. My own approach is to agree with Trump policies when I think they’re right—judges, buying Greenland, etc.—and disagreeing when they’re wrong. My own crutch is to simply tell the truth as I see it, regardless of whether it fits into some larger political agenda or strategy. Truth is always a legitimate defense of any statement.
But for those who see themselves as political players as well as public intellectuals, I think this is a terrible mistake. Intellectually and morally, the case for continued opposition to—or skepticism about, Trump cannot—or rather must not—be reduced to simple Trump hatred. But by rallying around Walsh—instead of, say, Mark Sanford, or Justin Amash, or, heh, General Mattis—that’s what it looks like. Because you can’t say, “I’m standing on principle in my opposition to a bigoted troll and con man as the leader of my party and my country and that’s why I am supporting a less successful bigoted troll and con man for president.” Walsh isn’t a conservative alternative to Trump; he’s an alternative version of Trump. And his candidacy only makes sense if you take the “binary choice” and “Flight 93” logic of 2016 and cast Trump in the role of Hillary.
Let’s imagine the Walsh gambit works beyond anyone’s dreams and Joe Walsh ends up getting the GOP nomination (a fairly ludicrous thought experiment, I know). If so, I have no doubt that my friend Bill Kristol will say, a la Col. Nicholson, “My God, what have I done.”
Various & Sundry
Canine Update: It’s good to be home. The beasts were delighted to see us. Everything is settling back to normal, except for one intriguing development. I think Zoë has finally had enough with Pippa’s tennis ball routine. The other day on the midday walk with the pack, Kirsten managed to film Zoë putting an end to the tennis ball shenanigans. She took the ball and buried it. It was, to use an inapt phrase, a baller move—and she was unapologetic about it. Maybe she just didn’t like all the commotion with the other dogs, because she’s tolerant of the tennis ball stuff again. Or maybe she was being protective of her sister given that many of the other dogs in the pack are known thieves. Regardless, they’re doing well and having fun.
If you haven’t tuned into The Remnant lately, please give it another try. The first episode of the week was with Niall Ferguson and the feedback has been great. The latest episode is with my friend and AEI colleague Adam White on all things constitutional. Word of mouth is really important in building up audiences, so if you can spread the word about The Remnant or this “news”letter, I’d be grateful.
submitted by Sir-Matilda to tuesday [link] [comments]

Victoria’s Secret: Have the Angels Fallen from Grace? (Interesting article on how the Epstein saga has affected the VS Brand)

Link to article
Link to archive of article: (I recommend archiving every article you come across. I usually use because I find it more user-friendly than The Wayback Machine.)
Victoria’s Secret: Have the Angels Fallen from Grace?
by Dimitar Ganev | Oct 2, 2019

Victoria’s Secret, the largest lingerie retailer in the US, has been one of the most iconic apparel brands since the 1990s, not least because its sexually charged imaging set the industry’s standard for decades and exerted a strong influence on body image norms. But since 2015, the shares of its parent company L Brands have been dropping as sales keep taking hits from shifting consumer tastes, executive turnovers and emerging competition.
The Victoria’s Secret brand, built on skinny girls and scantily clad lingerie, is now largely perceived as inadequate for a time when consumers’ preferences have moved away from sex appeal and towards empowerment, inclusiveness and comfort. To many, the brand’s traditional marketing strategy, which bets on fashion shows where supermodels walk in stiletto heels and angel wings, seems tone-deaf in the era of #MeToo, which condemns all forms of objectifying women and imposing hard-to-achieve beauty standards.
The Victoria’s Secret Angels, once considered symbols of sexiness, have now started to alienate consumers: a recent study found that 68% of them like the brand “less than they used to” and 60% feel that Victoria’s Secret is “forced” or “fake.” Demand for its products has cooled as up-and-coming rival brands have become more attractive by promoting themselves through unedited images featuring women of more diverse shapes and sizes. The retail giant reported that it will close 53 stores in North America this year, citing a “decline in performance.”
The brand itself admitted that it relied on hypersexualised imaging for far too long and it needs to rethink its identity. At L Brands‘ recent investor day, John Mehas, head of Victoria’s Secret Lingerie, asserted that the company needs to evolve and to reconnect with consumers by launching new products, hiring new executives and using new marketing strategies.
An essential part of the narrative shift would be a more diverse group of models, improving the merchandise, replacing the brand’s marketing chief and “rethinking” its annual Victoria’s Secret fashion show, the only fashion show regularly broadcast around the world, whose ratings keep falling. The brand hinted that network television would no longer be the “right fit” for the event, which has been criticised for being focused on empowering the models who walk in it instead of trying to relate to consumers.
Inclusivity, Diversity and Epstein
Many specialised fashion publications and business outlets embarked on questioning how the once-beloved brand managed to garner such a bad reputation. Analysing the media conversation around Victoria’s Secret in the top-tier English language publications from October 2018 to September 2019, we found that the most often discussed topics were body inclusivity, the company’s ties with Jeffrey Epstein and gender diversity:
The strongest coverage drivers for both the “Body inclusivity” and “LGBTQ+ diversity” topics were the comments which 71-year-old chief marketing officer Ed Razek made in a 2018 interview with Vogue that quickly went viral. Razek, who reportedly has final say over who’s in the televised fashion show, said that he didn’t think Victoria’s Secret‘s fashion event should include transgender or plus-size models because it is supposed to be “a fantasy”.
“Shouldn’t you have transsexuals in the show? No. No, I don’t think we should,” he said. “Well, why not? Because the show is a fantasy. It’s a 42-minute entertainment special. That’s what it is. It is the only one of its kind in the world, and any other fashion brand in the world would take it in a minute, including the competitors that are carping at us. And they carp at us because we’re the leader.”
The remarks prompted a strong backlash from consumers. As with the most severe social media crises, Victoria’s Secret was embroiled in an outrage cascade — outbursts of moral judgment which start to drive the conversation around brands, their products and their corporate messages. In these cases, the virality of moral judgements is facilitated by the fact that most of the content on social media feeds and timelines is sorted according to its likelihood to generate engagement.
The fact that fashion brands in particular face a growing number of crises could be explained by the supposition that fashion items are often taken to be markers of cultural and social identity, and thus are susceptible to be perceived as controversial across social networks. For instance, designers often draw inspiration from other cultures’ traditions, which has recently given rise to accusations of “cultural appropriation”.
Razek later used the company’s Twitter account to issue a formal apology, saying that his remark “came across as insensitive.”
In August 2019, Razek retired just days after the lingerie brand hired its first openly transgender model for its teen label PINK: Brazilian Valentina Sampaio. The hire was generally welcomed by commentators – for instance, Kendall Jenner, daughter of trans icon Caitlyn Jenner, posted “celebrate trans women” to her 98 million Instagram followers.
Meanwhile, media monitoring organisation GLAAD, which deals with lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender issues, said Sampaio’s move comes as transgender people are becoming more visible in advertising. Examples of the trend include recent campaigns by Calvin Klein, Gap and H&M, while Playboy’s first transgender Playmate appeared in 2017.
Another strong coverage driver within the ‘Body inclusivity‘ topic was the protest outside Victoria’s Secret‘s store on Oxford Street in London, in which protesters stripped to their underwear and held signs demanding more diversity in fashion. To address such concerns, the latest investor meeting saw Victoria’s Secret deciding it will no longer rely on a small group of supermodels to promote its sexy lingerie, in a bid to use more inclusive marketing.
An example of this new strategy was an Instagram post of model Barbara Palvin, which was celebrated for being more body-inclusive, as social media users perceived Palvin to be curvier than the other supermodels. The post received over 780,000 likes in two days, generating 4.2 times the average number of likes, with users commenting that the model looks “normal” and “healthy”.
But the brand wasn’t that successful in managing another crisis: the widely publicised ties between L Brands founder Les Wexner and financier Jeffrey Epstein, an accused child sex trafficker who committed suicide in jail. Although Epstein didn’t actually work for Victoria’s Secret or L Brands, he had control over Wexner’s finances and personal life, according to reporting by The New York Times, and used his connections with Victoria’s Secret to facilitate his alleged crimes.
L Brands tried to distance itself from Epstein, saying it had cut ties with him nearly 12 years ago and disclosing that it had hired outside counsel to review the case. Wexner said: “Being taken advantage of by someone who was so sick, so cunning, so depraved, is something that I’m embarrassed that I was even close to. But that is in the past.”
In many media reports, the ‘Epstein ties‘ topic was closely related to the ‘Sexual harassment‘ topic, which was dominated by a petition urging Victoria’s Secret to take a stand against sexual harassment and violence. The open letter was addressed to Victoria’s Secret CEO John Mehas and signed by more than 100 models, many of whom have worked with the brand in the past, and also by the Model Alliance, an advocacy organisation in the fashion industry, and the Time’s Up movement against sexual harassment which was founded in response to the Weinstein effect and #MeToo.
The petition cited “numerous allegations of sexual assault, alleged rape, and sex trafficking of models and aspiring models”. Several of the company’s photographers have been accused of misconduct, on top of the links with Jeffrey Epstein. A Victoria’s Secret spokesperson said the firm has been in conversations with the Model Alliance “for some time”: “We are always concerned about the welfare of our models and want to continue to have dialogue with the Model Alliance and others to accomplish meaningful progress in the industry.”
Crisis mode
Ed Razek‘s aforementioned controversial comments regarding transgender and plus-size models made him the most often quoted spokesperson in the discussion around Victoria’s Secret:
Razek’s dominance in the conversation underlined the crisis of perception the brand suffers: his remarks were taken by many media outlets as a sign that the brand is unwilling to adapt to the current sociocultural climate. Models who have previously worked with the brand and who had a relatively large share of voice in the media conversation were quick to criticise him. For example. Karlie Kloss and Lily Aldridge posted a photo reading “Trans and GNC [gender non-conforming] people are not a debate” to their Instagram stories.
Karlie Kloss was one of the most vocal critics: she recently told Vogue that she had decided to terminate her relationship with Victoria’s Secret because the image was not “truly reflective” of who she was and the “kind of message I want to send to young women around the world about what it means to be beautiful.” Model Tess Holliday was harsher, leaving a message to Razek on Twitter following his Vogue interview: “Who needs VS anyway? They never supported plus ladies & now they are trying to dis my trans sisters? Hell nah. Kiss my fat ass, [Victoria’s Secret].”
The majority of media reports on Razek’s retirement announcement cited these remarks as one of the key points in his career and highlighted that he was one of the main figures in the highly sexualised beauty ideal put forth by the brand. The crisis of perception was also emphasised by the fact that L Brands CEO Les Wexner, another major corporate spokesperson in the conversation, was quoted primarily in relation to the Epstein scandal.
However, some of the spokespeople portrayed Victoria’s Secret in a positive light. Adriana Lima, one of the best-known Angels, quit the label after two decades and 18 fashion shows with the brand, sharing the news on Instagram with a heartfelt caption: “Dear Victoria, Thank you for showing me the world, sharing your secrets, and most importantly not just giving me wings but teaching me to fly.”
And while she presented the brand positively, some media publications reminded their readers of a an interview she gave to Grazia in 2011 in which she outlined the physical challenges she went through in order to be in shape, especially after her pregnancy.
Angel Behati Prinsloo tried to defend the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show against the criticism for its lack of transgender models and diverse body types. In an interview with Elle, she explained what the show stands for: ‘There’s a lot of talk about everything but I think people need to also understand that it’s a show. It’s not saying negative or positive about any body type, it’s ‘this is who they are’.”
In the meantime, Barbara Palvin was named as a Victoria’s Secret Angel after the successful Instagram post which customers perceived to be more body-inclusive. She announced the news to fans also via Instagram and her hire was generally interpreted by the media as a sign that the label is finally starting to listen to its critics.
CEO John Mehas‘ comments about the brand’s marketing shift were met with similar enthusiasm, especially his plans to include messaging that responds to the #MeToo movement. But the most warmly welcomed move was the hire of Valentina Sampaio: although some publications suggested that the brand’s first openly transgender model came too late, most commentators said that the retailer has finally moved in the right direction.
Lingerie wars
While Victoria’s Secret is caught up in a fierce discussion, L Brands‘ other flagship label, Bath & Body Works, a personal-goods retailer, continues to report strong earnings, supporting its struggling parent. Many reports on Victoria’s Secret‘s controversial reputation outlined this development, making Bath & Body Works the most frequently mentioned brand in the conversation:
While L Brands is firmly focused on the Victoria’s Secret turnaround story, Bath & Body Work is perceived as staying relevant with updated stores and new product tests, maintaining a wholesome image as “America’s sweetheart of beauty brands.” Its loyal core consumer base of millennial women is boosted by fan blogs and YouTube accounts dedicated to sharing new products. The brand also plans to ramp up volume by having a digital makeover for the first time in India.
Investors have even started pressuring L Brands to make Bath & Body Works a standalone company which would not be associated with Victoria’s Secret. Hedge fund Barington Capital, whose CEO James A. Mitarotonda was one of the few corporate spokespeople in the conversation, sent a lengthy letter to L Brands CEO Les Wexner arguing for a spinoff.
But after Bath & Body Works posted its first unchanged quarter of store traffic in five years during 2019’s second quarter, Jefferies analyst Randal Konik suggested that the best days for the bath and candle retailer may be over. Konik also said that the teen brand PINK is the next sore spot for L Brands, with sales falling by low double digits in the fourth quarter, as the label is “without fans and rudderless.”
ThirdLove, American Eagle Outfitters and Savage X Fenty were identified as the main competitors which have capitalised on Victoria’s Secret’s reputational struggles. ThirdLove, an online bra startup which was launched in 2013, was perceived as coming head to head with Victoria’s Secret as it focuses on inclusive sizing and marketing, which have helped its annual sales to grow at a rate of 180% for the past four years.
The brand opened its first pop-up store in New York in July 2019, putting itself in direct competition with Victoria’s Secret as the lingerie giant had a store less than a 10 minutes’ walk away. ThirdLove also joined the discussion around Razek’s comments, taking out a full-page ad in The New York Times, in which co-founder and co-CEO Heidi Zak said she was appalled when she read them: “I’ve read and re-read the interview at least 20 times, and each time I read it I’m even angrier. How in 2018 can the CMO of any public company — let alone one that claims to be for women — make such shocking, derogatory statements?”
When asked whether Victoria’s Secret was worried its customers might now be looking for something different, Razek mentioned ThirdLove: “We’re nobody’s ThirdLove,” Razek said. “We’re their first love. And Victoria’s Secret has been women’s first love from the beginning.”
American Eagle Outfitters was also viewed as one of the main companies to break Victoria’s Secret‘s grip on the apparel industry by offering fitting bras and using messaging which pitches inclusiveness and comfort over sex appeal. Its activewear and lingerie brand Aerie has built an image of an “anti-Victoria’s Secret” label with untouched ads featuring models of all shapes and sizes. Kyle Andrew, American Eagle’s CMO, said the company’s success is due to its willingness to experiment and find ways to better listen to its teen customer base.
Rihanna’s Savage X Fenty recent show, streamed on Amazon Prime, has been making headlines everywhere, with commentators saying it was everything that Victoria’s Secret’s annual runway show wishes it could be by featuring models of all shapes, sizes, and ethnic backgrounds, with a clear focus on body inclusivity and acceptance.
Meanwhile, retail corporation Target also tried to capitalise on Victoria’s Secret’s struggles with a strategy similar to ThirdLove, American Eagle Outfitters and Savage X Fenty: it launched a new bra and underwear brand called Auden with a campaign featuring women “in all different shapes and sizes.”
Nike was mentioned as one of the brands which have gotten ahead of the curve with their socially-conscious marketing efforts featuring ex-NFL quarterback Colin Kaepernick, who had participated in racial justice demonstrations during national anthem ceremonies. Fast-fashion brand H&M got involved in the discussion for selling a $199 bra similar to Victoria’s Secret’s $1 million Fantasy Bra as part of its collaboration with Moschino.
Victoria’s Secret‘s reputational woos come at a time when the fashion and apparel industries occupy a central place in the extensively covered #MeToo movement and play a major role in ongoing media discussions around gender and identity. Since such issues naturally polarise consumers, brands which are dealing with products directly related to them are regularly caught up in fierce debates.
The growing importance of the debates around gender in the fashion industry has also been highlighted in the accelerating gender-neutral trend. The latest seasons have seen luxury brands like Gucci, Saint Laurent and Haider Ackerman combining menswear and womenswear runway shows, Others, such as Proenza Schouler and Rodarte, have started showing women’s pre-collections or women’s ready-to-wear during the back-to-back menswear and couture calendar. Meanwhile, fast-fashion labels such as Zara started releasing ungendered collections with models of both sexes dressed in the same clothes.
There are also a growing number of new brands like the Phluid Project, Agender and Rebrand which are built around the concept of non-binary dressing. Beyond fashion houses, the trend has also been recently reinforced by the Council of Fashion Designers of America (CFDA), which added a unisex/non-binary option for New York Fashion Week. Spokespeople for the CFDA explained that this decision came as a response to “a growing number of designers whose collections are not delineated by gender”, which “reflects the cultural momentum.”
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Spring festival season is upon us, folks. Time to get down with all the worm gruntin’, blues playing, and mule scratching you can stand. I’ll try to put together a list of everything big in the next month or two, but in the meantime I’ll at least put stuff on here.
There’s another list of all the regular stuff that happens every week, so don’t forget to check for all your karaokes, trivias, and so on. There are also links to all of Tally’s theater options, both stage and independent cinema (from fancy to cult).
And great news! Cap City Video Lounge is back! They're all set up in Railroad Square and open for business! They rent movies, show films on their big screen, and host parties and events in their awesome space. Check them out!
HAPPENING THIS WEEK: Word of South Festival. Here is the main website for schedules and times and performers. “Word of South a festival of literature and music which held its inaugural event April 11-12, 2015, is a unique blend of writers and musicians and an exploration of the relationship between the two disciplines. The festival features authors who write about music, musicians who also are authors, authors and musicians appearing together, and everything in between.” 12th-14th
HAPPENING THIS WEEK: 4th Annual All Venue Trivia Brainblast. “People ask, “Hank,” they say, “Which of your venues is truly home to the most kickass and trivial competitors?” Well, I love all (most) of my players, so I just can’t answer that. Instead, I’ll let y’all do it yourselves. Once again, it’s time to play hard and win big at the 4TH ANNUAL ALL VENUE TRIVIA BRAINBLAST! On April 13th, witness the best trivia teams from Midtown Pies, Proof Brewing, and Warhorse go head to head in a no-holds-barred, no-phones-allowed showdown! Join in on the fun with Hoarder's Delight giveaways, karaoke, and plenty of trivia! (Not to mention that amazing Crum Box grub!)” 4/13, 3:30pm, @ Crum Box Gastgarden
FRIDAY, 4/12
SUNDAY, 4/14
MONDAY, 4/15
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My week on Bumble (dating app). A review, of sorts.

Last weekend I posted this after I realized Bumble had come to Android. I am a straight, cisgender, polyamorous male, 35 years old with two partners living near the core of the Atlanta Metro Area. I'm not actively looking for anything new, but I am open to new partners under the right circumstances.
For those not familiar with Bumble, it is essentially a Tinder clone with a twist: Once two opposite-gender people are matched, the woman has 24 hours to decide whether to message the man. The man cannot message a woman who has not messaged him first, but once a day he can extend the length of time a woman has to message him by another 24 hours. Once the match has expired, it disappears forever. In the case of same-gender matches, either user can initiate contact.
OkCupid has been my primary site of online dating, and I have never used any of the "Swipe left/swipe right" apps like Tinder, Blendr, etc. I like the idea of an app that puts women in control of the number of messages they receive, having seen the crippling volume of messages my partners tend to get on OkCupid.
The Bumble Profile
Signing up for Bumble requires a Facebook account. Bumble uses Facebook as a source of your identity, age, pictures, education, employment, and probably other details. You can remove Facebook pictures from your Bumble account and you can upload pictures from other sources. Bumble displays up to six photos, your first name (from Facebook) your binary gender (Male/Female from facebook, with the ability to change it once and only once), your current job (from Facebook or selected from a pre-populated dropdown list), your education (selected from schools/colleges on your Facebook account, with year of graduation), your current location (from your phone's GPS), and a 300 character "About Me" text box. That text box is your only opportunity to display your poly status, and to look for others' poly status, unless you get creative with your photos.
I selected 6 photos and wrote an "About Me" that tried to capture who I am. I made my employment a bit more vague than I have it on Facebook since I'm not out to everyone at work. I made sure to include my poly status. Here's what my profile ended up looking like:
"Expanded" Profile
In addition to your profile, Bumble gives you a lot of control over the age range and distance of your matches, from <1 mile to 100 miles and from 18 years to 79, both in increments of 1.
My experience
I started local, setting my distance to just 5 miles instead of whatever the default had been (20 maybe?). There were a lot of users in that range, and I had trouble finding reasons to swipe left (reject the match) on many of them. So I did a lot of swiping right. It struck me that this was perhaps the Bumble equivalent of sending out hundreds of emails that said "hey," but I didn't have many other options.
Before signing up, the thing I heard most about Bumble was that, compared to other dating apps, its users were "more attractive" in terms of societal standards of beauty. My experience found this to be the case, with lots of users who would be considered conventionally beautiful compared to the OkCupid crowd I was used to. There was also a palpable lack of visible tattoos, non-standard piercings, and other symbols of non-mainstream culture. But then I'm fairly mainstream, so maybe I had found my place.
To make a long story short, in the 10 days since joining I've had 5 matches, only one of which lead to any conversation. No profiles have mentioned polyamory or any other kind of nonmonogamy. Bumble seems to have an algorithm that places the most "attractive" profiles at the front of the swipe queue. When you first start swiping, the women are thin, fair, and glamorous. It's only as you keep swiping that you encounter people who are less conventionally attractive, more overweight, people of color, or just people with worse photography skills. At first I thought I was imagining it, but it kept happening without fail. As I ran out of matches in my chosen radius, the thin white girls in designer clothes would become a smaller and smaller demographic until my matches ran out. Then I would bump up my search radius by a mile or two and there they were again, and the cycle would repeat.
I wondered what kind of guys were using the app so I switched my "looking for" from "Women" to "Men." I swiped through about a dozen profiles before I ran out of matches within a 5 mile radius. I expanded my radius and kept swiping only to run out quickly again, but I realized from the pictures that many of the men I was seeing had indications in their photos or profiles that they were gay or bisexual. So there was no way for me to see other straight men without help from a female friend. That was frustrating.
Here in Metro Atlanta it took about 4 days of swiping in my downtime to run out of users to swipe. Running out of users was a gradual process. First I ran out within 5 miles. Then I bumped up my search radius. Then I adjusted my age search range. Then increased the radius again. Then increased the age range again... you get the idea. By day 4 my criteria were set much wider than I would ever see myself realistically dating, but I learned that the vast majority of female Bumble users near me seem to be older than 24 and younger than 40, and they tend to be concentrated within about 10 miles of downtown Atlanta. Around a dozen new users show up every day. I suppose these are new users, reactivated users, and people coming into town. I always get a few matches per day who are on layover at the Atlanta airport. My first 3 matches came in the first 3 days of using the app. The other two came as a trickle. The most recent one matched with me yesterday, and I extended my match before midnight last night. We shall see if she messages me before the 48 hours are up.
The Bottom Line
I see the potential for Bumble as a way to put a certain amount of control into the hands of women who are fed up with traditional dating apps and sites, but the app seems to have a built-in bias towards people who, in my non-expert opinion, are conventionally attractive, white, mainstream, and affluent. In Atlanta Bumble doesn't seem to have much poly presence at all, though there's no explicit reason it must be so, but the apparent bias against non-mainstream users would seem to indicate that even if poly users flocked to Bumble, many would be among the less-visible users who didn't appear immediately. Also, the site has no gender options besides the gender binary "Male" and "Female," though at least it has options for gay and lesbian users.
In short, I think I'll stick with OkCupid.
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WEEKLY EVENTS 3/21 – 3/28

My mama always says that the cold weather isn’t truly gone until the pecans start to get green. Seems she’s right.
Tally’s Independent Cinema and Theater Offerings:
Check here for the current run of excursions offered by Camp Folks. If you want to check out the local outdoors, this seems to be a good group to go with.
  • The Moon: Scott Carswell Presents Get The Led Out. “Worlds #1 Led Zeppelin Tribute Band.” 6:30pm/$30
  • 1200 Stearns Street Community Center: Trans Youth Support Group! (SPECIAL TUESDAY GROUP!). “This peer to peer monthly support group will not only foster understanding, but also encourage and spread the Tallahassee transgender community. We are all at different points on our individual journeys, and everyone could use a little support to take the next steps, to feel less alone, or just to get together and share experiences. This group is welcoming to transgender individuals, non-binary, and genderqueer folks of all types ages 18+.” 7:30pm
  • The Warehouse: Lip Sync Battle: A Benefit Event for The Southeast Review. “Support Florida State University's national literary journal AND watch friends unleash the diva within! This promises to be the most OUTRAGEOUS evening in your recent memory (what is left of it), as teams and solo artists LIP SYNC ALONG TO THEIR FAVORITE SONGS, battling it out for the title of Totally Legit Best-Ever Badass Diva in the Superstar Universe of Tallahassee, Florida, as determined by our set of CELEBRITY EXPERTS recruited from FSU faculty members.” 8pm/$10, $5 for performers
  • Club Downunder: Aparna Nancherla. 8:30pm/GP $12/18+
  • Side Bar: EARPHUNK (New Orleans) w/ Tyler Denning Band & Sgt. Bear. 9pm/$14
  • Bird’s Oyster Shack: Wednesday Night Lab Session Hosted by Jim Crozier, featuring TD & Kathi Giddings. 6pm
  • Fermentation Lounge: Quizmaster General Knowledge Trivia. “Quizmaster is hosted by Bennett Miller from 7-9pm every Wednesday, and features three rounds of general knowledge trivia (and a weekly food special). It is free to play and teams of up to 6 are welcome. The winner of each round receives a sample flight, and the Quizmaster for the night receives a $25 gift card and serious credit on Geek Street.” 7pm
  • Brass Tap on Gaines: Trivia. Check their FB page for the theme. 7pm
  • Hurricane Grill & Wings: Trivia With Greg. 7pm
  • GrassLands Brewing Company: BYOBG! Bring Your Own Board Game. “Our gracious host, Trevor Bond, will be featuring one game each week. Feel free to bring your own games to play & share.” 7pm/21+
  • The Junction at Monroe: Live Band Karaoke. 7pm/$10 coveBYOB
  • The Fox and Stag: Ladies Night with DJ Loden. 7pm-9pm.
  • Proof: Bar Trivia With Hank. Here’s what I suggest: pick up an order to go at the Crumbox Gastgarden, bring it on down to Proof, order a brimming glass of locally brewed deliciousness, and show off all those random factoids you thought you’d never use. 7:30pm/21+/no cover
  • Krewe de Gras: Trivia with Mr. Matt. $40 first prize 8pm
  • The Warehouse: Open Mic. “There is a lottery for time slots. Now smoke free!” 8pm
  • Burrito Boarder: Karaoke With Nathan. 8pm
  • Just One More: Karaoke with Roger. 9pm
  • Bird’s: Comedy Night. I’m pretty sure this is both a performance and an open mic. 9:30pm/free
  • Club Downunder: Seminole Crossing: Campus Folk. “You've played the game, now you can live it! Experience firsthand the life of a villager from the beloved Nintendo game, Animal Crossing! Eat free food, win prizes at Tom Nook's store, design your own T-shirt with the Able Sisters, get your fortune told by Katrina, and more! What type of villager will you be?” Noon/free/all ages
  • Edison: Smokey Hollow Commemoration & Exhibit. “Join us as we celebrate the vibrant history of Smokey Hollow. Enjoy presentations from former residents and the Director of Tallahassee’s John G. Riley House. Bring the family and browse art from the historic community.” 5:45pm
  • 245 Ochlockonee River Road: Full Moon Florida Plant Medicine Class. “What I hope to accomplish in this first class is to teach you about the medicine, and then two weeks after, I will organize a plant walk where we can go out and meet these plants first hand! This is for anyone of any skill set interested in plants or plant medicine. As an herbalist, my main goal is to teach, and this class is all for you! I want to empower you to use the beautiful medicine Mother Nature has created, for she was the first herbalist. Let us all come together and learn what she has to offer under the light of the full moon. I will provide healing, delicious tea and some yummy snacks. I also encourage you to bring instruments for us to do some singing outside to give back to our earth mother and sister moon. Sage, palo santo, crystals and anything you might want to bring is so welcome. Bring a notebook to take notes, and possibly a pillow to sit on. May the plants be with you!” 6:30pm/$10
  • The Pyramid Healing Arts Center: Libra ~Full~ Moon Gathering. 7pm/Sliding Scale $5-25
  • FSU CGE: Intercultural Program Series: China. “Come to the Globe Auditorium to experience the diversity of Chinese history and culture through dance, food, and art!” 7pm
  • TV Land: Wild Pink(NY), Kowabunga! Kid(IL), Melt Channel, Lingua Franca, Success Story. 8pm/$5/all ages
  • Club Downunder: Le1f w/ Junglepussy. 8:30pm/GP $15/18+
  • The Moon: YOUNG DOLPH. 10pm/$20
  • Lake Ella Area: Food Truck Thursday with Fungle Junk. 6pm
  • Junction @ Monroe: Open Mic. “The only open mic that pays the performers! Bring your instruments and play an open slot or just come and be entertained in Tallahassee's best sounding room!” Doors and registration open at 7pm/$10/BYOB (no coolers, cups, or non-alcoholic drinks allowed)
  • HalfTime Pie Pub: Trivia. Check the Pub FB page for a theme and possible bonus points. 8pm
  • Crum Box Gastgarden: Thursday Evening Sessions. 8pm
  • Dux (Crawfordville): Karaoke with Big Bob. $25 bar tab given away every week. 8:30pm-12:30pm
  • Midtown Caboose: Trivia Factory. 8:30pm
  • Gaines Street Pies: Bar Trivia With Hank @ Warhorse Whiskey Bar. With a picture round! Sound round! Speed round! Hoarder’s Delight drawing! And all the other trivias! Win a delicious 18” pizza! 9pm
  • Pockets: Karaoke Dance Party with Keith Welch. 9pm/21+
  • Applebees on Cap Cir: Karaoke with Amanda Goram. 10pm
  • Birds: Karaoke Hosted By Jumpin Jams. Some of the most diverse and longest running karaoke in town. 10pm
  • Down Below (Under Barnacle Bills): Karaoke with Davin. 10pm
  • Community Thrift Market: Lunch and Learn: What to do when you find a wild animal. “This month's Lunch and Learn will teach us what to do if we find a baby or injured wild animal in our yard. Do you leave it alone? Or take it in? Where can you take it for care? Come learn everything you need to help with wildlife in our community. We would like to thank St. Francis Wildlife Association for taking the time to lead this informative Lunch and Learn at Community Thrift Market.” 11am
  • Hotel Duval: Speaker Series Luncheon: Al Perkinson, Costa Sunglasses. “Al Perkinson, vice president of marketing for Costa Sunglasses, one of the fastest growing sport performance sunglasses brands in the world, will share how he’s successfully implemented an integrated community program as part of the company’s growth strategy.” 11am
  • Old Capitol: Trivia Night at The Museum. “Test your knowledge of the important role women have played throughout Florida's history with an exciting evening of trivia in our beautiful, historic building. Guests will enjoy drinks from GrassLands Brewing Company and hors d’oeuvre from Madison Social, and prizes will be awarded at the end of the night. Register your team by calling (850) 487-1902.” 6:30pm/$20 per team, with a maximum of 4 members per team
  • FSU Alumni Ballroom: Favorite Poem Project. “Last spring, The Favorite Poem Project and The Poetry Foundation invited Florida residents to share their favorite poems for a national video documentary initiative about the role of poetry in Americans' lives. On March 24th, in celebration of the new FPP videos, The Florida State University Creative Writing Program is hosting a screening and Favorite Poem reading featuring five Floridians. Introduced by Robert Pinsky and Erin Belieu.” 7pm/free all ages
  • TV Land: Dirty Dishes, What Moon Things, Empty Vessels, Whateverer, Naps. 8pm/$5
  • Club Downunder: Jazz Night: The Special Event w/Lauren Sevian & the Scotty Barnhart Combo. 8pm/GP $10/18+
  • The Strip: 3rd Annual Jam For Peace. “Enjoy local music and drink specials all while supporting student-led, sustainable international development projects that foster social change and empower communities in Nepal, Ghana, Rwanda, and Cambodia!”10pm
  • Parlay Sports Bar: Karaoke with Big Bob. 8pm
  • Just One More: Karaoke with Roger. 9pm
  • 926 Lounge (Formerly Pugs): The Friday Night Party. “Get ready to dance your A$$ off at the Club-Side Party from 9pm to 2am with high energy music from DJ Carben and DJ Double G along with the best show in Tallahassee at midnight starring Ms. Debra Adams and members of our fabulous Queen team!” 9pm/$5/18+
  • Leggetts: Karaoke with Paul. 8:30pm
  • Down Below (Under Barnacle Bill’s): Karaoke with DJ Scott Long. 10pm
  • Stetsons @ The Moon: Karaoke with Johnny Ray. 10pm/$5/18+
  • FSU CGE: Global Café: Guatemala. “PeaceJam Southeast is hosting Global Café Guatemala! Food is $7 per plate, cash or check only. Menu: Kak'ik - Mayan Turkey Stew with Onions, Tomatoes, and Bell Peppers, garnished with Mint (Veggie Option also Offered); Plátanos Fritos - Fried Plantains; Picado de Rábano - Radish Salad with Mint, Orange Juice, and Lemon Juice; Quesadilla - Guatemalan Sweet Cheese Muffin; Limonada con Soda - Lime Juice with Sugar and Soda-Water” 11:30am until the food runs out or 2pm/$7
  • Moore Auditorium: Tallahassee Comedy Marathon. “The third annual Tallahassee Comedy Marathon benefiting Alzheimer’s Research will be held on Friday, March 25th 2016! Hosted by Florida State University’s Improv Comedy Club ‘No Bears Allowed’ in partnership with Seth Rogen’s ‘Hilarity For Charity’, we’re looking to make this year bigger than ever. Our goal is to raise $3,000 for Alzheimer’s Association of America but we can’t do it without your help!” Noon-10pm
  • Fox & Stag: Gerry Nielsen – Pianist. 7pm
  • Side Bar: Storm the Gates (EP release show) w/ Methodical Mayhem, A Dying Breed, Timid Tongues & Cutting Teeth. 8pm/$7
  • Junction @ Monroe: Inside Joke Comedy Showcase. “Featuring the finest standup from Scott Peavy, Boafo Manu, Matthew Bailey, Immeke Sharks, Austin Mann, Ryan Mawson, and more. Music by Ryley Smith.” 8pm/$15, $20 VIP/byob
  • Bradfordville Blues Club: The Jamie Eubanks Band. 9pm
  • Fifth and Thomas: Heritage. 8pm
  • Park at Monroe: The Downtown Marketplace. 9am
  • Corner of Georgia & Macomb: Frenchtown Farmers’ Market. “The Frenchtown Heritage Market offers a wide variety of fresh, naturally grown produce. Live music, cooking demos, fruits vegetables, and honey sold directly by farmers.” I bought some beet jelly there last week, and it’s delicious. 9am – 1pm.
  • Wakulla Springs Lodge: Bob Carey on Piano. “Come on out and bring along your vocal chops, browse through my lyrics book, pick up one of my pass-around mics and sing your heart out, or just grab a stool and enjoy a fun filled evening of music and dancing. Full bar open til late.” 7pm
  • Salty Dawg: Karaoke with Paul. Family friendly! 8pm
  • Leggetts: Karaoke with Cowboy Chris. 9pm
  • El Patron: Pasion Latina. Bachata, Merengue, Salsa, Reggaeton. 9pm
  • Down Below (Under Barnacle Bills): Karaoke With Devin. If you want to sing and drink cheap beer and liquor and not have to wait for huge crowds, this is your spot. 10pm
  • 926 Lounge: Sanctuary (formerly Blue Monday). 10pm/$35
  • 3550 Mahan Drive in the Cinco de Mayo plaza: New Leaf Market Co-op Job Fair. “We're looking for energetic, enthusiastic people dedicated to exceptional customer service for the Bannerman Crossings store opening April 27, 2016. Positions include cashiers, produce clerks, meat clerks, deli clerks, dishwasher, cook, baker and more. Visit this link to view job descriptions and to complete an application.” 9am-4pm
  • The Unitarian Universalist Church of Tallahassee: Storytelling Workshop with Master Storyteller David Novak. “In this playful and participatory workshop, "Massaging the Story and Exercising the Listener," designed for storytellers ages 10 to 100+, Mr. Novak will lead exercises that challenge our thinking about stories and introduce performance strategies to manage our listener's interest through creative dramatics, character masks, voice and speech, movement and mime.” 9am
  • Mission San Luis: Soap-Making Workshop - Hot Process. 10am/ Members/Volunteers: $30 / Non-members: $35
  • The Rez: 10th Annual Rez Goes Green. “Join FSU Sustainable Campus & Campus Rec for a cleanup of the FSU Reservation, surrounding forest lands, and shorelines. Come enjoy a beautiful day outdoors and healthy snacks!” 10am
  • GrassLands Brewery: ONE YEAR! Sway Jah Vu, Keep It Civil, David & The Pheonix, Sgt. Bear and more. “Join us to celebrate GrassLands Brewing Company's one year of beer! Our family keeps growing, right along with our brewhouse. Thank you, Tallahassee! We can feel the love. We'll be filling growlers and giving tours of the brewhouse:) Enjoy small batch releases and special treatments, as well as some new swag! Outside, from 2 – 6, we'll have family friendly activities including blacksmith demos by Murph, The Bubble Guy, hula hoops, food trucks and more! At 7pm, Engineers Without Borders kicks off their fundraiser: Bands Without Borders. Outside, enjoy 5+ bands for only $5.” Noon
  • Namaste Yoga: Mindfulness Workshop: Beginner's Mind. “Mindfulness for the Beginner's Mind is a workshop for anyone interested in learning more about what seems to be the latest wellness craze, but is actually a practice rooted in ancient wisdom and 40 years of medical research.” 2pm-5pm
  • Crum Box Gastgarden (caboose in RR Sq): Trivia With Hank Presents THE ALL VENUE TRIVIA BRAINBLAST! “The top team from 5 different venues go head to head in a winner-take-all trivia rumble. EAT house-made sausage and the best meatball subs in town. DRINK cold, delicious beer. SING between round karaoke. WIN brews and such with single shot trivia questions and name-that-songs for the crowd. AND MARVEL as 5 teams enter and 1 team leaves! (and then 4 other teams later and slightly deflated.) It’s Cabos vs Burrito Boarder vs Northside Pies vs Proof Brewery vs Warhorse, and this time it’s personal. Be there or be really sad you missed it!” 4pm/free/kind of all ages but I do cuss. A lot.
  • Bread & Roses: ROTTEN COLLECTIVE BENEFITS PRESENTS: MARIO TOURNAMENT SHOW at Bread and Roses w/Toranavox, Buster Wolf, Melt Channel, Dreadship. 4pm/$5 Show $7 Show and Tournament ENTRY/all ages
  • FAMU Recreation Center: TRG 2016 Season Opener: Legiskators vs. Sinators. “The first bout of our tenth season will feature two Tallahassee home teams, the Legiskators and the Sinators! You don't want to miss these two brand new teams going head to head for the first time ever!” 7pm/kids under 12 free
  • The Moon: An Evening with Sarah Mac. 7pm/$15
  • The Plant: Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky. “1991 Hong Kong martial arts-thriller film written and directed by Lam Nai-choi, and based on the Japanese manga Riki-Oh by Masahiko Takajo and Saruwatari Tetsuya. It is well known for its extreme, brutal, and highly unrealistic violence, as well as its high camp factor and extremely poor English dubbing “ 7:30pm
  • Fox and Stag: The Adventures of Annabelle Lyn. 7:30pm
  • Franklin Manor: Friendship, Nostradogmus, Oh Geography, Cooper! 8pm/$5/all ages
  • Atmosphere: Dear Abbey, Backlash, Storm the Gate, and Invented Truths! 8pm
  • Club Downunder: SuperDuperKyle. 8:30pm/GP $15/18+
  • Birds Oyster Shack: Trial by Stone w/ Control This. 10pm/$5
  • Bradfordville Blues Club: JB's ZydeccoZoo. 10pm
  • 3505 S Adams St: Tallahassee Jouvert "SHIPWRECK". “AWOAH! Get ready for the LIVEST Caribbean Paint Party, the first ever Tallahassee JOUVERT on Saturday, March 26th, 2016. Dress comfortably and get ready for the mess.. Come party with the livest dj's DJ Koolie, DJ English, and DJ Stunna from 3KINGS from MIXX96 Miami alongside Selecta A1 from Tally's fav radio station!!! Come ready fi get LOOSE!” 11pm
  • Lake Ella: Sunday Brunch Featuring Common Taters and the Turn Ups. “The Spring Concert Series is here! Come out to Lake Ella every Sunday for food trucks and live music!” 11am-2pm
  • Salty Dawg Pub & Deli: The Famous Acoustic Jam w/ Wayne, Glenn, and Bo. Open mic, free beer for performers. 6pm
  • Cabos Bar: Bar Trivia With Hank. First place wins a bar tab, last place wins a greater sense of self. 7:30pm/free/21+
  • FSU Rez: Holi: The Festival of Color. “Holi has been a blast the past few years, so make sure to RSVP, wear WHITE, and come out on March 27th! Be sure to bring your FSU student ID in order to get into the Rez! If you are not a student, the park will charge you $2 to enter!” 1pm
  • FSU: Humans v Zombies at FSU Presents: The 7 Deadly Sins. “Hello all! Come out to our second week long game of the springs semester. Bandanas are $4, Game dues are $3.” 8pm
  • Warhorse Whiskey Bar: BACK TO THE GARAGE w/ BOYTOY (Brooklyn, NY - PaperCup/Burger Records) w/Success, Lingua Franca. 8:30pm/free/all ages
  • Burrito Boarder: Bar Trivia With Hank. $30 food & bar tab for first place. Specials on shots and $2 margaritas. 7 :30pm
  • Waterworks: Patio Theater. 8:30pm/21+
  • Junction @ Monroe: Rock N' Roll High School and Repo Man: Trash Cinema Nights Deep Cult. “Hey Gang, The Primal Root here and I can hardly contain my pleasure at our Trash Cinema Nights Deep Cult at The Junction Double Feature of the 1979 Roger Corman youth in revolt cult classic, Rock N Roll High School featuring PJ Soles, Clint Howard and, of course, The Ramones! Followed by one of my personal all time favorite cinematic oddities, the 1984 subversive sci-fi, comedy punk classic, Repo Man starring Emilio Estevez and Harry Dean Stanton!” 7pm/$5/byob
Keep checking back, sometimes I update. Got anything to add?
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